Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
