I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
