I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
