So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
