I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
