I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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