Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
