You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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