I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
