She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
