When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
