"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
