I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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