Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
