Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
