I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
