The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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