Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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