How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
