Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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