they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
