How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
