wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
