SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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