Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
