The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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