Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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  (828): he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art. http://tfl.nu/yesh
  Replies (47) Good night (3101) Bad night (1511)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??

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  (504): Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass?? http://tfl.nu/uw3d
  Replies (74) Good night (686) Bad night (3227)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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  (734): I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted http://tfl.nu/844p
  Replies (25) Good night (5315) Bad night (1211)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

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  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8723) Bad night (737)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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  (636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7
  Replies (38) Good night (2550) Bad night (6192)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Or a large amount of condoms?!?

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  (612): If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation. (1-612): Or a large amount of condoms?!? http://tfl.nu/muu8
  Replies (12) Good night (6353) Bad night (1070)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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  (401): You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice. http://tfl.nu/tgfk
  Replies (2) Good night (2543) Bad night (966)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.

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  (267): Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn. http://tfl.nu/zs8h
  Replies (2) Good night (4780) Bad night (926)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.

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  (330): We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner. http://tfl.nu/1e2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1783) Bad night (613)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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  (770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb
  Replies (17) Good night (1695) Bad night (787)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently you can coat check a keg.

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  (240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (890)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"

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  (402): The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?" http://tfl.nu/ovas
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (1320)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

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  (267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (271)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.

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  (309): And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left. http://tfl.nu/6io8
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (181)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

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  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (361) Bad night (641)

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