but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.