Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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