Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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