I feel like abortions should bother me more
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.