he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
honey bunches of taint.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
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We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it