You can't special order awesome
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
