when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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