i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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