I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
