The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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