the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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