This is not my ceiling
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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