I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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