I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize