My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
