Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize