I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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