everyone is single if you try hard enough
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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