Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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