dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
