people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
