He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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