lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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