I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
