I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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