he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
sex in a hospital.. check
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
