There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
