This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
