its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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