You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
