i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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