She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
