he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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