I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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