I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
