Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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